Feedback for children of the sea adaptation

Our performance is an adaptation of the story Children of the Sea from Krik Krak. We chose a location of North Korea to show make it similar to a society and government like Haiti, oppressing, strict and isolated. In the story Children of the Sea, both characters wanted to leave Haiti, the male character left Haiti on a boat and the female character back at home. In our adaptation, we made both characters tried to escape. The father, sharing a lot of the characteristics with the male character in the original story of Children of the Sea, for example his braveness and desire of freedom.   For the mother, we chose to set her with a more weak and fearful character to show the difference in the typical gender role from both North Korea and Haiti. The biggest part we illuminated and take from the original story, is the way how the lover's communicate and express through writing letters to each other while bring forced to separate. 

      Because of our simple and quite acting, my partner James continued to change his position while reading his letters to show how he's more energetic, brave and strong. Me as a female living in North Korea for her whole life, showed more of a conservative characteristic and was sitting more still to show myself being afraid to move. Also lots of questioning are written in my script to show my concerns to my husband and my daughter. Even though our performance did not stopped and went smooth, but I think there are still parts that are missing that could make this performance better. First of all, I could have been more emotional to make these motion less scene more interesting to watch. For example, speaking louder when I'm actually shocked and angry about the soldiers, putting my face into my hands to show some mental breakdowns. Second of all, and the part the I wish I could have done better the most, is on the last scene. It should be so much more powerful since it is a monologue and the ending should be impressive and memorable for the audience. I missed the most romantic line and a theme from the original story---"and a sea that is Endless, like my love for you". I should speak louder when it reaches the end and also keep my eyes really focused to the camera. I could have suspended the emotions and let it be the most emotional to explode in e few last lines.