Second draft of essay

Paragraph separation and rearrange for final draft ideas:

Para1: significance of this scene(why choose this scene? Why important?) thesis statement. Include author and play title.

Para2: Literary Features

(emotion: agitated, anger, sad

 Relationship: trust, relying, give evidence of friar being calm and persuading

Purpose: Friar’s purposes to calm Juliet, give quote

Theme and Conflict: a process of creating important solution leading to the result of the ending; problems exploded)

Para 3: Literary Features

 (Word choice and its repetition: Hold..etc

Foreshadowing, allusion: find quote connecting to death

analogy: “If rather to marry Paris….”quote, both unwilling events to be happened

symbolism: bridegroom and morning as hopeme

metaphor: whole section on process of death”there art thou dead”

plot twist: of secret love gradually turning into big issue to public)

Para 4: Theoretical analysis

Staging: mention props’ setting in black box’s stage, whats in the center

Voice, projection: When it is low, When it is loud

Emphasizes: important words to calm Juliet and key lines

Blocking: high level and low level showing authority and emotion

Pacing: Friar Luarence’s slow pace

Eye Contact/ facial expression: between me and my partner. Longer conversation- to the audience

Para 5: 

Interaction: patting on back etc. show close relationship and trying to comfort.

Given circumstances: what have happened before Juliet stepped in.

Motivation: What do I want as Friaràcomfort her with a solutionà soon came up with idea but show not sure of it (give evidence of hesitation)

Para 6:

reflection overall

Obstacles: memorization, showing authority, act like a male

Rehearsal: activities we’ve done (find in blog for remind)

Para 7:

Conclusion: conclude both reflection and analyze keypoints. 

Sentences or paragraphs left after eliminating less meaningful parts originally wrote. To rearrange for final draft easier

(because the I got a 1 for section A and 2 for C, So I think it is better to just rewrite most of it so does not confuse myself and mix up different themes of literary or theoretical):

Romeo and Juliet as one of the most well known work of William Shakespeare, is a love story but also a tragedy.

The scene started with Juliet shouting”O Shut the door!....past hope, past cure, past help!.”, this shows how Juliet came right into the scene with indignant and impulse. Friar Laurence starting his first line after Juliet with “I already know thy grief” shows his sympathy and attentive.

Thesis Statement: Acting friar Laurence tranquilly with steady body movement allows me to analyze deeper into his caring ,earnest characteristic and understand his trusting relationship with Juliet. 

           

we have decided to choose this specific scene because of its importance towards both characters and the plot. This reveals how Juliet chose to trust another adult instead of her parents and how Juliet became an emotional girl.

Juliet’s choice without hesitate to ask help from friar Laurence have proved his credibility and justice impression being planted deeply in front of everyone.

This scene especially emerges his kindness and righteous, how he was willing to stand on two teenagers’ side with no care of the hatress between the Capulets and the Montagues. He showed patient while listening to Juliet speaking and was also brave enough to suggest such risking resolution for Juliet. Friar Laurence as a god father seemed not as conservative and traditional, by excogitating such intense and dangerous plan for the couple. This might also be a reason why Romeo as an adolescent boy has a unordinary close relationship since the beginning of the story. 

            While staging, we decided to dress friar Laurence---me, with a robe and a cross necklace to directly show the audience who I am acting. Other than costumes, we prepared a small bottle of dark color ink as the poison that appear later in the plot.

 On the other hand, to better portray our characters. We decided to use methods from Michael Chekhov’s lessons. First of all, I imagine myself as a father-like character facing an immature young girl having a bad temper asking me for help. How will a reliable adult react while facing a teenager trying to suicide because of her extreme emotion? Is a question I have asked myself before acting. Second of all, I try to act like how Michael Chekhov have taught in his lessons, to feel a power starting in my chest and spreading it into every part of my body, starting with smaller body movements then expand movements bigger.

            Specifically, I interpret this line from Friar Laurence “And, if thou darest, I'll give thee remedy” as a hesitation, which I showed in my performance by pausing between each one or two words following the coma. With this, I am hoping to show the audience that questions this solution because of it might be a clue of friar being irresponsible and also impulse as an adult to give to a young, emotional girl needing help a vial like this. Since Juliet was being emotional, he would have to come up with a quick solution to comfort her.

These pause eventually tells how he respects Juliet’s opinion and decision to choose what to do, take the vial or not. Moreover, to show a worried adult.

 I emphasizes the line “Thou shalt continue two and forty hours” by raising my voice after many lines being told to Juliet previously; the purpose is to make sure Juliet is listening carefully on the efficacy of the vial in case accidents occur. 

           

 I have decided to change my tone and the atmosphere in the middle of our scene. Even though the overall atmosphere in this scene is intense and depressing, some change will keep the audience interested and the performance more vivid instead of speaking and acting in the same tone. Therefore, during this line “Now, when the bridegroom in the morning comes”, I choose to raise my voice and wave my arms as the sun rising up. In order to keep audience concentrated and to show the significance of the bridegroom symbolizing hope in the scene where Juliet will be one more step closer to her love if everything went smoothly.

 Another part I choose to emphasize by speaking clearly, loudly and slowly, is within my last part of the scene: ”Hold, Get you gone, Be strong and prosperous”, This is like a spiritual catchphrase from Friar Laurence to Juliet before he lets her go. Before me saying this line, Juliet was yelling “Give me, give me! O tell me not of fear!”, this showed how she wasn’t thinking rationally. Therefore, me emphasizing “Hold”, with my hands holding on to Juliet’s shaking arm help showing how I wanted to calm her down and be reasonable on whatever she have decided to do. “Be strong and prosperous” sounded like a warning and a concern as well.

            As an actor acting for the very first time, memorizing the lines and acting naturally with emotion have been a challenge for me, especially acting a man made me as a girl more difficult to show the reliability and authority power of friar Laurence. However, what I have done well in the performance are the small details on acting. For example, continually patting Juliet on her back to show comfort as she spits out her anger. Also I choose to hide the dagger carefully as Juliet have handed it to me after an urge of suicide. In case of her emotions driving up her intention to suicide again, I was looking for a good place to hide the dagger where she would not see. Continually, I have also been trying to calm her down through the conversation by asking her to seat down. I stood straight to on imagery show Friar Laurence justice and authority. 

Grading Sample Papers with IB Rubric

Sample 1

Analysis of the literary features of the text:

3.

Even though the author provides a long direct quote from the scene. But it made it too general. Even with the paragraph under the quote. His description is also too vague and broad.

Exploration of the chosen approach to the text:

7.

He describes how he and his partner acts on stage with some specific change in tone or body movements, But should tell more of a why, analysis to tell the reason he chooses to use this specific way of acting and where does this analysis come from in the text.

Use of language, structure:

3.

Even though paragraphs are being separated well between the first few part on analysis of literary features and use of language. But the last few paragraphs have became a combination of different elements and theme of his performance. The ending sentence is not a good and deep sentence for a long essay to be ending with, it sounded too muddle.

Sample 2

Analysis of the literary features of the text:

4.

Because the author describes and explains analysis with direct quotes supporting her statements. But it only took her a short paragraph on doing this. More of her writings are on the next category, how she chooses to act the scene.

Exploration of the chosen approach to the text:

9.

Because the author wrote a lot of her decisions on acting with detailed descriptions to fit her analysis on specific lines in the scene. For example how she tried trembling her voice and hand when Ophelia felt fear. She also gave the line (directly) to show which part she have interpret this specific feeling of the character.

Use of language, structure:

3.

The organization of this writing is being separated into different paragraphs but I don’t really think it is being separated for any purpose. Because most of it are about staging analysiss. And some of the paragraphs does not have a good ending sentence nor does a starting sentence to tell what the next parargraph will be about.

First Draft of EA: Romeo and Juliet Scene Acting

Romeo and Juliet as one of the most well known work of William Shakespeare, is a love story but also a tragedy. However, the scene me and my partner decided to play is a scene with Juliet and Friar Laurence in his cell having an emotional conversation. This scene happens right after Juliet has received this bad new from her father to marry County Paris. The scene started with Juliet shouting”O Shut the door!....past hope, past cure, past help!.”, this shows how Juliet came right into the scene with indignant and impulse. Friar Laurence starting his first line after Juliet with “I already know thy gried” shows how he have been staying calm and quite while listening to Juliet pouring out her dissatisfaction as the moment she stepped into his cell. Also showing his sympathy and attentive. Acting friar Laurence tranquilly with steady body movement allows me to analyze deeper into his caring ,earnest characteristic and understand his trusting relationship with Juliet.

            In addition, we have decided to choose this specific scene because of its importance towards both characters and the plot. This reveals how Juliet chose to trust another adult instead of her parents and how Juliet became an emotional girl. However, to focus on my character Friar Laurence, this scene is also significant. Juliet’s choice without hesitate to ask help from friar Laurence have proved his credibility and justice impression being planted deeply in front of everyone. This scene especially emerges his kindness and righteous, how he was willing to stand on two teenagers’ side with no care of the hatress between the Capulets and the Montagues. He showed patient while listening to Juliet speaking and was also brave enough to suggest such risking resolution for Juliet. Friar Laurence as a god father seemed not as conservative and traditional, by excogitating such intense and dangerous plan for the couple. This might also be a reason why Romeo as an adolescent boy has a unordinary close relationship since the beginning of the story.

            While staging, we decided to dress friar Laurence---me, with a robe and a cross necklace to directly show the audience who I am acting. Other than costumes, we prepared a small bottle of dark color ink as the poison that appear later in the plot. On the other hand, to better portray our characters. We decided to use methods from Michael Chekhov’s lessons. First of all, I imagine myself as a father-like character facing an immature young girl having a bad temper asking me for help. How will a reliable adult react while facing a teenager trying to suicide because of her extreme emotion? Is a question I have asked myself before acting. Second of all, I try to act like how Michael Chekhov have taught in his lessons, to feel a power starting in my chest and spreading it into every part of my body, starting with smaller body movements then expand movements bigger. However, to show Friar Laurence’s calmness, I stand steady, walk steady and make less dramatic facial expression while acting.

            Specifically, I interpret this line from Friar Laurence “And, if thou darest, I'll give thee remedy” as a hesitation, which I showed in my performance by pausing between each one or two words following the coma. With this, I am hoping to show the audience that questions this solution because of it might be a clue of friar being irresponsible and also impulse as an adult to give to a young, emotional girl needing help a vial like this. However, by pausing in between the line shows how friar Laurence is concerned and worried. How he have been stopping and looking towards Juliet’s face to make sure what he is doing will help her and is comforting her mind at that moment. These pause eventually tells how he respects Juliet’s opinion and decision to choose what to do, take the vial or not. Moreover, to show a worried adult, I emphasizes the line “Thou shalt continue two and forty hours” by raising my voice after many lines being told to Juliet previously; the purpose is to make sure Juliet is listening carefully on the efficacy of the vial in case accidents occur.

            I have decided to change my tone and the atmosphere in the middle of our scene. Even though the overall atmosphere in this scene is intense and depressing, some change will keep the audience interested and the performance more vivid instead of speaking and acting in the same tone. Therefore, during this line “Now, when the bridegroom in the morning comes”, I choose to raise my voice and wave my arms as the sun rising up. In order to keep audience concentrated and to show the significance of the bridegroom symbolizing hope in the scene where Juliet will be one more step closer to her love if everything went smoothly. Another part I choose to emphasize by speaking clearly, loudly and slowly, is within my last part of the scene: ”Hold, Get you gone, Be strong and prosperous”, This is like a spiritual catchphrase from Friar Laurence to Juliet before he lets her go. Before me saying this line, Juliet was yelling “Give me, give me! O tell me not of fear!”, this showed how she wasn’t thinking rationally. Therefore, me emphasizing “Hold”, with my hands holding on to Juliet’s shaking arm help showing how I wanted to calm her down and be reasonable on whatever she have decided to do. “Be strong and prosperous” sounded like a warning and a concern as well.

            As an actor acting for the very first time, memorizing the lines and acting naturally with emotion have been a challenge for me, especially acting a man made me as a girl more difficult to show the reliability and authority power of friar Laurence. However, what I have done well in the performance are the small details on acting. For example, continually patting Juliet on her back to show comfort as she spits out her anger. Also I choose to hide the dagger carefully as Juliet have handed it to me after an urge of suicide. In case of her emotions driving up her intention to suicide again, I was looking for a good place to hide the dagger where she would not see. Continually, I have also been trying to calm her down through the conversation by asking her to seat down. I stood straight to on imagery show Friar Laurence justice and authority.

            On the other hand, what I could have improve is my voice while speaking. I could have used a lower, deeper voice as a male. Another point I have put behind of mind while acting was my facial expression. We have decided what body movements to make for staging, but we have forgot our facial expression could also be a decisive way to express the atmosphere and a way to make the performance more real and vivid with changing facial expression while speaking out different lines of different meaning and purpose.

           

            

Grading sample essay

Literary features analysis of the text :5

because it describes how they interpret the character with given quotations directly from the scene to prove her statement. 

Exploration: 8 

Talks about and gives description on physical movements to show significances they want to show as the character.

Structure: 5

Separating paragraphs clearly made it easier readable. Does not mix up elements. 

Updated thesis statement

 Acting Friair Laurence with calmness through steady body movements allows me to understand his earnest characteristic presented in this specific scene and his trusting relationship with Juliet.

Brainstorming for essay

1. Critical analysis of literary features of text
Juliet shouting--> immature, unsteady emotion
trying to suicide--> extremely depress
Friar Laurence's repetition of words like "hold"-->show calmness and authority over Juliet to stop her

2.How text informed choices made in scene staging/acting
calmness--> walk steady even though Juliet seemed nervous and angry. Less facial expression.
sympathy--> Pat on Juliet's back and hugging her, asking her to sit down.

3. Reflection/ critique/ analysis of own performance
how well-->Walked calmy. contiunely trying to calm her down by holding her shaking hands.
could improve-->serious facial expression and lower voice tone like a man. more body movements during conversation. Try to hide the knife or keep the knife faraway from Juliet.